Get 'em while they're "hot" -
Ladies and Gentlemen, in light
of the sad news of our beloved (?) smokestack being dismantled, the LIPSCOMB
UNDERGROUND is bringing you this special offer. For a limited time
only, receive your "Smokestack Commemorative Brick", straight from the
bottom of the smokestack (because that's all we could reach) for only $99.95!!!
(As an added bonus, for an extra $15.95, Dr. McKelvey will personally "pray
for your soul." Or if you're not that concerned about eternity, $10.95
will earn you mention in one of Nathan ____'s chapel stories).
Use your new Brick as a paperweight,
footstool, or just display it for the world to see. An item the whole
family can enjoy.
And if you act now, we'll engrave
your brick with your name and the scripture of your choice for only $49.95
choices for Brick engraving
(sorry, our only
version choice is the NAPCOCV -
the New American
Paraphrased and Completely Out of Context Version):
Do unto others
what has been done to you.
1 CHR 16:42
- And with them, Paul Prill was responsible for the nose flute and other
instruments of sacred song.
Do unto others.
Do all things.
- Thall shall not kill, ever, not even in war, not even if you are about
to be assaulted. Killing is always a no-no. Can't we all just
- Thou shalt not drive so fast on your EZ-GO cart, lest you run over a
1 SAM 9:3
- Saul searched for his asses, but couldn't find them with both hands.
- Yea though I walk through the student center, I will fear no evil.
My glock and my checkbook, they comfort me. Even though I am surrounded
by the faithless masses (social club members), I will not lose consciousness
due to the overwhelming odor of "Tommy for men". Lawrence baby
leads me to sit in the cool air of DQ and have an overpriced chicken finger
basket. Surely student loans and donation requests will follow me
all the days of my life.
1 SAM 18:25
- If you really want to marry my daughter, bring me the foreskins of 100
people from New Jersey.
- Thou shalt not drink any form of alcohol. Not even if you are by
yourself and you drink in complete moderation. Not even if there
are proven health benefits. Not even because Jesus probably drank
wine several times. Drink only beverages containing non-taboo drugs
like Sun-Drop and coffee.
IN THE APOCRYPHA - Forget grace, I'm saving
myself through chapel and daily bible.
ELSE IN THE APOCRYPHA - Don't smoke.
It's just plain evil.
VERSE - If you choose to dance, you will go
to hell. Unless you are completely naked like David, then it's OK.
- Screw baptism, just be a nice guy.
- And Stephen Prewitt entered the Lipscomb bookstore and drove out all
those who were selling their overpriced books. He overturned the
tables and shelves of the money changers and said, "It is written 'My bookstore
shall be called a fair place, but you are making it a den of robbers.'"
available for a limited time:
Commemorative Bricks - $599.95
(because they're not actually tearing this
- $69.95 large
- $59.95 small
from the depths of Lipscomb!! I'm sure you've seen steam a risin'
from any number of half-covered manholes across campus. Well, it's
almost gone, so get your bottle now, while supplies last.
written by Clay Chambers
& Brian Holaway
Taken from Spring 1998
LU#16 "Don't sit under the grits tree with anyone else but me"