* You think it might be unscriptural to drain the baptistery.
* You were 18 years old before you knew the "guideguardanddirectus" was not one word.
* You thought the offering is part of the Lord's Supper.
* You ever wondered who Ebon Pinion was.
* You think it's okay to have TAPED organ music of the Wedding March but not the organ itself.
* You know the day of miracles has passed, but do believe that a "closing prayer" can turn a worship service into a business meeting or an appropriate time for a concert.
* You have never been to a church that wasn't named after the street it was located on.
* You've been to a wedding or funeral where "the invitation" was offered.
* Not only to you know the 1st, 2nd and 4th verses of every song, you also know each vocal part because over the years you voice kept changing.
* You thought about lunch every time you sang, "Low in the gravy lay..."
* You never saw the coin toss of a Super Bowl (except on video tape after the game was over).
* You always carry an extra mint or piece of gum for "after communion."
* You think that your seat on the pew is "sacred" and no one else would dare sit there.
* You were the only kid in the 6th grade who knew what "a capella" meant.
* You were the only kid who actually sang alto or tenor before taking junior high chorus.
* You never had the lead in the high school play because you couldn't make the Wednesday night rehearsals.
* You wondered what the difference was between the "fruit of the vine" and grapejuice.
* You still can't get through an entire service without doodling on an attendance card.
* During a service you have: laughed, cried, dropped a book, walked to the bathroom, passed a note, emptied you purse on the pew, eaten a cookie, chewed gum, taken medicine, whispered to someone sitting beside you, winked at a friend, fallen asleep, coughed, sneezed, burped, or said "Amen" but you NEVER, EVER clapped.