How many (________) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Graduate students
      One -- but it takes him nine years.

Medical students
 Five -- One to screw in the bulb and four to yank the ladder out from under him.

Auto mechanics
      Two -- One to screw in the wrong-sized bulb and one to replace the burned-out socket.

      That's not funny!

College girls
     That's *women*, and that's not funny either.

Nuclear engineers
      Seven -- One to install the new bulb, and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next ten thousand years.

      Ten -- One to hold the bulb, nine to rotate the ladder.

New Yorkers
      None of your damn business.

New Jersey-ites
     Three -- One to change the bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness.

      Four -- One to screw in the bulb and three to share the experience.

      Six -- One to screw in the bulb, and five more to chase off the Californians who have come up to share the experience.

WASPs (or Yuppies)
      Two -- One to mix the drinks and one to call the electrician.

Christian Scientists
      One -- To sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

      Three -- One to call the cleaning woman and two to feel guilty about calling the cleaning woman.

Jewish American Princesses
      Two -- One to pour the Tab, and one to call Daddy.

Jewish mothers
      None -- No, it's okay, I'll sit in the dark.

Zen Masters
      Two -- One to screw in the bulb and one not to screw in the bulb.

      Fifteen -- You got a problem with that?

      Only one, but the bulb really has to want to change.

      None. The old light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Straight San Franciscans
      Both of them.

      Two -- One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored bicycles.

      How many can you afford?

     Just one. He holds the bulb and the universe revolves around him.

      Six -- One to screw in the bulb, and five to testify that it as lit from the moment they began screwing.

Country singers
      Four -- One to screw it in and three to write about the old one.

      One to spot the burned-out bulb, his supervisor to authorize a requisition, a requisition typist, three clerks to file requisition copies, a mail clerk to deliver the requisition to the perchasing department, a purchasing agent to order the bulb, a clerk to forward the purchasing order, a receiving clerk to receive the bulb.