Actual Headlines (yes, they are real)

   1.  Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
    2.  Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
    3.  Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
    4.  Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
    5.  Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
    6.  Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
    7.  Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
    8.  Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
    9.  Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
   10.  British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
   11.  Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
   12.  Eye Drops Off Shelf
   13.  Teachers Strike Idle Kids
   14.  Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
   15.  Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
   16.  Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
   17.  Miners Refuse To Work After Death
   18.  Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
   19.  Stolen Painting Found By Tree
   20.  Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
   21.  Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
   22.  Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
   23.  War Dims Hope For Peace
   24.  If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
   25.  Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
   26.  Deer Kill 17,000
   27.  Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
   28.  Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
   29.  Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
   30.  Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
   31.  New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
   32.  Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
   33.  Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
   34.  Chef Throws Hes Heart In Helping Feed Needy
   35.  Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
   36.  Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
   37.  Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
   38.  New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
   39.  Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

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